When you don't know where you're going all roads will take you there

Yesterday left me physically exhausted but emotionally I feel refreshed. :)

Cheeky tv writers! First the Harper's island writers totally stole a scene from Last of the Mohicans. And then the Castle writers do this Not fair!

Finishing work at 1:15 is cool. But it can't make up for the fact that when I get out of bed it's till too early to be called morning.
So how to cheer one's self up of a tired afternoon? Castle. I can't believe I forgot about Castle.
And Step Mania. It's hard not to feel cheered up when playing step mania to the Chocobo round up remix song and the ducktales theme.

I feel I must report that I had one of my freaky moments just now.
I was packing and decided that I would take a spare AA battery or 2 for the underwater camera. I walk down to the living room to check the bowl where I keep change and random batteries. The TV in the room was on and The Simpsons were showing. As I was checking the bowl I hear Grandpa Simpson say 'I need 2 double A batteries now!'
Eeep

Ah Nathan Fillion, how I've missed you.

Ah irony,
I finished watching season 2 of Supernatural on DVD tonight. Dean doing his whole deal thing. I turn the DVD and take a look at what's on TV. Lo and behold Supernaturalis on. It's halfway through the episode where a uni student performs a ritual to bring the girl he wants back to life. Almost the first words after I start watching 'Your girlfriend's past her expiration date and we're the ones who're crazy? What's dead should stay dead. You don't mess with things like that.'
Ah Dean...

I accidentally typed an address onto the end of my lj friends page address and then hit enter. Here is the Error 404 page I got courtesy of LJ

Page Not Found
Narrator: In A.D. 2006, Web was beginning.
Captain: What happen ?
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the journal.
Operator: We get signal.
Captain: What !
Operator: Main browser turn on.
Captain: It's you !!
CATS: How are you users !!
CATS: All your base are belong to Frank.
CATS: You are on the way to 404.
Captain: What you say !!
CATS: You have no chance to reach your page. Make your spelling correct.
CATS: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....

He he he

*dances with joy*

Ogdenville, North Haverbrook, Brockway ? Oh SPN ROTFL

Ow! I just found out exactly how sharp my kitchen knife is. Now I've got 2 fingers plastered.

Want to know how you can feel better after a crap day?
http://icanhascheezburger.com/

I could spend hours there.

I have found a new favorite singer! Uni and her ukelele (the ukelele is named Sally Luka) I saw her at a Ukelele concert at the uni on thursday night. (There's a ukelele festival on in Auckland this weekend) This song is the cutest, all must watch and fall under her spell. I just bought her CD (and apparently I bought the last copy because it's no longer in stock on the website :o)



http://www.myspace.com/uniherukelele

So I haven't updated for a week or so, mostly because I didn't have internet for about 5 days. Despite the fact that I'd told Slingshot when the new phone number was being connected almost a week in advance. I still had to call them up and then they had to log a job to get the switch at the exchange flipped or whatever. That takes 3-5 working days. So what's happened. Well the move out went alright thanks mostly to Carmen and Corey. David had Dirk to help him and Andrew one of his workmates. I was helping too but having kind of a hard time. Then Corey turned up while I was watching them put some stuff into the trailer. He stood next to me for a moment and then put his hand on my back and gave me a little look and smile as if to say 'You doing okay?'. That made me feel so much better. Then Carmen turned up a bit later. Pretty much as soon as she turned up she started tidying the kitchen and as soon as the living room was cleared of David's stuff she was vacuuming and helping me set it up. She said we had to make it look nice because if I was left sitting in a mess I'd just get depressed. Apparently she's helped other people do this before.
So the move itself wasn't too bad. And it's kind of nice having my own space but then there's still those moments. Like when I get home from work and look around the empty house, or when there's nothing I want to watch on tv in the evening and not even anyone to talk to.
And then the rest of my week
Wednesday morning at work I checked my phone at 8:30am. 2 messages. 1 text, 1 voicemail. I didn't even need to read them to know it wouldn't be good. Poppa had passed away that morning. Probably about when I was arriving at work. Although it took three and a half hours for me to check my phone. So right now I'm sitting at home. The funeral will start in 2 hours and 10 minutes roughly, ironically enough at the same place Granny had her funeral.

This last month is now officially the worst month of my life. My Poppa (Dad's dad) is now in hospital with pneumonia. The specialists aren't holding out much hope because his heart is quite weak and not handling it very well. And basically if his heart stops they can't shock him because of all the fluid in his lungs. I saw him briefly yesterday when Kelly took me home to pick up the fridge. And now I'm going back today.

So after a pretty terrible night I had a varied day. My head is still over the place. I'm hurting even more than I was before. But I guess it comes down to the same thing as David they can't help how they feel. I just misread their behaviour. I just have to accept that and get on with my life. They're still friends.
I have found a very good friend in Mike from Taiko. For those of you who don't know him, he's a friendly guy who joined taiko at the same time as me. We've always got along quite well too. Mike broke up with his partner of 6 years a few months ago and he's been so understanding. I called him up at 9:30 ish this morning and kind of cried at him down the phone to ask if I could come around. 'Of course!' he says. We sat and talked and drank tea. Apparently he was going to call me today to see how I was anyway. We talked a couple of weeks ago when it was still very fresh. He hadn't talked about him and Tracey to anyone until then. We decided we would go out and enjoy some sunshine and go for a walk. I suggested a place I know in the Karangahake gorge where my very best friends and I used to go camping. I've been thinking about Dickie's Flat a lot the past week or so. It's a safe place for me I guess. So we went for a walk along one of the tracks. Talking about this and that. A lot of talk about David and Lianne and Dirk. When I suggested he must be getting bored of hearing about it all he says 'Do I look bored? I keep bringing it up anyway because I know you need to talk. It will help.' How great is he! So I talk about David and he talks about Tracey. The excercise will help me sleep anyway. Got to make up for the lost sleep last night if I want to be able to get up at 4 for work.
So I'm trying to be positive and look forward. I can't wait for Christmas when Tilly and I will go to Wellington to see Jules. It's what I'm kind of focusing on right now.

Oh God, oh God
How could I misjudge so many things so badly. I sorry people who read this for sounding so melodramatic but if I thought my world had fallen apart when David broke up with me it fell apart even more last night. I went around to Lianne and Dirk's because I wanted to know where I stand with them. What with them being my closest friends here in Hamilton (now) and them also being David's friend. I knew they're closer to David but I didn't realise how close. I know he'd talked about wanting to break up with me to them but I didn't realise the extent. apparently the conversations they had formed quite a strong bond between them. And Just when I need people I can rely on Lianne says 'We can be your friends but we can't be your best friends' So who does that leave me with here in hamilton? They are my closest friends!
I know I have a lot of people out there in other locations that are being so wonderful to me at the moment and you guys couldn't imagine how much that means to me. But I need someone here to hug me.

I have a project. I love to watch the Olympics. I'm not really into watching many sports but when the Olympics come along all of a sudden I can't get enough. 12 years ago I was sick off school during the Atlanta Olympics, I also happened to have an origami book out from library at the time. Since then whenever I'm watching the Olympics I like to do origami. But it tends to clutter up the place. I'm not any kind of origami expert so they're not works of art. So this year I've decided to take inspiration from Tibetan monks. I once saw some monks making a sand mandala. And what did they do after those hours of careful work to create such a masterpiece? They dumped it into the harbour. So to celebrate the transience of beauty after the Olympics I'm going to gather all the origami I make and burn it. I thought I'd document it here in case anyone's interested.

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Cuddleslut

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

Kaylee! Heee!

So a few days ago mum put some money in my bank account from Granny's emergency fund. Money that my aunt took out of one of Granny's accounts to help pay for funeral stuff and to help out with travel costs for us cousins living elsewhere. I've decided what to do with it. I could save it sure, but I want to get something nice. So I'm going to get me a bookcase. A big solid, wooden, inviting bookcase with lots of space waiting to be filled up with books. I know Granny would approve she loved books too.